I’m not ok

Within the years of being verbally and mentally abused by both of my stepparents or from past relationships to now, I’ve concluded that as of today I’m mentally and physically not ok. As the phrase goes “ be treated the way that you wanna be treated.” as human beings we’re one of the most stubborn and stuck-up species that walks on this planet called Earth. In movies or tv shows, we see many scenes where couples or even married spouses burst out into arguments or their husbands are beating the crap out of them. As a person who was born in California and who’s from the county of LA where it’s known for great food, the best places to go out and do stuff, and the big tier of making the biggest movie productions for film and tv shows. All I wanted before I moved to Texas and even, in general, is for all of the verbal and mental abuse to stop once and for all. During the last 15 years living in my father's household, I was constantly being blamed and yelled at by my stepmom, and for her to even call the cops on me is an experience that I’ll never forgive her for. Since my father and his wife filed for a divorce it didn’t make things with my father and relationship stable not even just a bit. As of today, I’m now living in Texas, and whenever, my husband says “ call your dad and see if he can send you money so that we can get some food and stuff in the house.” I’m not gonna lie but we’re struggling here and I know that when we got this house we’re gonna struggle but I didn’t think that we’re gonna down this hard. I’m not complaining whatsoever but as of right now it just breaks my heart that’s why I know what to do in my life and that is finish school and apply for the first open position towards a career in Cybersecurity. For so many years I’ve constantly blamed myself because whenever someone yells at me for something I’d rather have them apologize after the fight instead of them just brushing it off thinking that the argument never occurred.