Late night Thoughts

Photo by Christopher Ott on Unsplash

Good morning to anyone that reads this. Even though, it’s like 1:37am for me when my body is tired but my mind can’t sleep. This is where I’m currently battling with the war of sleep of which I call it. The number one thing that’s been bothering me during this time is the fact that my father and I’s connection is at this point the point of no return. This month alone in January I ran away from home with my fiance without telling anyone where I’d go. Now yes that got me in trouble but at the same time things are kinda better not fully but anyways that’s not the point. The point is that I’m hurt because thanks to him there’s a reason why I left. Yes, quite frankly he’s my father no matter what. At the same time I feel insecure just by being around him. He’s always had this persona of how I should dress or wear for as long as I can remember. Now a days I’m very conscious of what I eat even when I’m around my fiancé and it’s sad because no one should have to go through this kind of pain. I understand, that I’m turning 24 in a couple of months and that my dad wants me to “dress appropriately” he needs to understand to that I’m not a teenager and that it’s my body at the end of the day. He’s the main reason why I left his household. I got tired of the stress and the verbal abuse that he’d put me through. I may never gain my father’s trust again but at this point I could care less.